People who have decided to adopt a child are often faced with blunt (and sometimes inappropriate) questions. While it's impossible to prepare for every possible question, knowing some of the more common ones can help.

According to the website BellaOnline, the following are five very common questions for adoptive (or about-to-be-adoptive) parents:

#1: Why don't you just have one of your own? It's amazing what they can do now with infertility treatments!
#2: But what if the child doesn't look like you?
#3: What if the birth parents change their mind?
#4: Why in the world are you adopting from that country...Why are you adopting an older child...Why are you adopting a child with special needs?
#5: Isn't it so amazing that you're saving the world this way?

"Its important to understand that many people have honest questions and want to learn more about adoption," wrote Brandii Lacey, BellaOnline's adoption editor. "And, on the flip side, there are those that simply want to argue with you back and forth on the subject of adoption."

It may be frustrating to be questioned about such a personal matter, but answering these types of questions can help people understand your decision and support your family. However, remember that you have the right not to answer any questions that you feel are inappropriate.

Labels: adoptive_parents, preparations, questions

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When kids learn that they're adopted, they can ask some difficult and potentially awkward questions.

What's the best way for a parent to respond? A former professor of pediatrics advised telling the child his biological parents are dead -- but Dr. James Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, strongly disagrees.

I am unwilling to lie to my child about anything. I would not tell him that his natural parents were dead if that were not true. Sooner or later, he will learn that he has been misled, which could undermine our relationship and bring the entire adoption story under suspicion.

Most experts advise telling the child as much as you feel he needs to know - or as much as you think he can handle - but don't lie. And turn the conversation away from the reasons his biological parents gave him up, and focus instead on how grateful you are to have him. Source: Sun Herald (Biloxi, MS)

Labels: questions, adopted_childrens, honesty

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The Adoption Community of New England held its 35th annual New England Adoption Conference on April 5 at Mill Pond School. About 1,000 people participated in 119 workshops aimed at helping answer some of the questions and concerns associated with adoption.

"The conference theme was 'Whole Life Adoption,' addressing adoption across the lifespan. Nancy J. Harper, executive director of Adoption Community of New England Inc., said 'We reach out and support all members of the adoption triad (adoptive families, birthparents and adopted children).' She said one conference goal was to support less-represented members of the triad, in particular birth families and adult adopted individuals."

One of the workshops, titled "Talking with Expectant Parents," focused on helping adoptive parents understand how best to communicate with birth parents before, during, and after the adoption process. Source: Worcester Telegram

Labels: support, questions, answers

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