People who have decided to adopt a child are often faced with blunt (and sometimes inappropriate) questions. While it's impossible to prepare for every possible question, knowing some of the more common ones can help.

According to the website BellaOnline, the following are five very common questions for adoptive (or about-to-be-adoptive) parents:

#1: Why don't you just have one of your own? It's amazing what they can do now with infertility treatments!
#2: But what if the child doesn't look like you?
#3: What if the birth parents change their mind?
#4: Why in the world are you adopting from that country...Why are you adopting an older child...Why are you adopting a child with special needs?
#5: Isn't it so amazing that you're saving the world this way?

"Its important to understand that many people have honest questions and want to learn more about adoption," wrote Brandii Lacey, BellaOnline's adoption editor. "And, on the flip side, there are those that simply want to argue with you back and forth on the subject of adoption."

It may be frustrating to be questioned about such a personal matter, but answering these types of questions can help people understand your decision and support your family. However, remember that you have the right not to answer any questions that you feel are inappropriate.

Labels: adoptive_parents, preparations, questions

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Pregnancy, and giving birth to a child, is filled with moments; telling friends and family, hearing the heartbeat, feeling the baby kick. A woman who's adopting may feel a sense of loss over not experiencing those moments, but she can be encouraged by the special moments that are unique to adoption.

"I suppose a woman who hopes to become pregnant might start by researching various fertility methods, charting, and so on. We started by researching types of adoption... We heard about a local couple who had adopted through an agency for which we had received rave reviews... With one phone call to the director, we made our decision, and experienced one of our first 'moments'."

Other moments for adoptive couples include choosing the country from which to adopt, preparing the house for a home study, and getting the call that a child has been selected. Not every mom becomes a mom the same way, but they all have a journey that ends with an amazing gift. Source: Adoptive Families

Labels: preparations, mothers, fertility

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Lynn and Robin Arnold didn't know what to expect when they adopted first one, then a second, child from Russia. Their first child, Jacob, came home with them in 2003. The second, Andrea, came home two years later. The Arnolds visited each child twice in their Russian orphanages before bringing them home.

"The Arnolds were told to bring a picture book of themselves and a blanket they've slept with as a way to familiarize the children with their prospective parents. That process worked so well, the Arnolds said, the children were actually excited to go home with them when it came time to depart."

Both Jacob, who's 4, and Andrea, 2, have adjusted well to life in America. Andrea is still learning to communicate, but Jacob speaks English well. The Arnolds call their experience a great one and refer back to their Russian interpreter who didn't call it "adoption" but "rescuing".

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Labels: Russia, communication, preparations

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