Trans-racial adoptions, especially Caucasian families adopting African-American children, are becoming increasingly common in the United States. In an article on Examiner.com, writer Maritza Brown advised adoptive parents on ways to incorporate aspects of the child's birth culture into their family:

Since all ethnic groups maintain their own unique culture and mannerisms, it is imperative that the adopting parents not only learn their adopted child’s way of living, but they have to be willing to incorporate the child’s culture into their lives as well as appreciate and respect it. ...

The adopting parents have to venture out of their own comfort zone to meet and befriend others who look like and can identify with the adopted child. ... The child should always have access to an environment where there are people he/she can relate to and form a strong sense of self.

Needless to say that there is an added responsibility when adopting outside of one’s own race. That is why, it is imperative for the adopting parents to be prepared to embrace fully, the cultural lifestyle of the child they intend to add to their family in order to ensure the positive, well-adjusted growth of the child.

Labels: international, trans-racial, parenting

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In Colorado, it costs about $20,000 for the state to care for a child. Adoption agencies can place the child in a permanent home for a fraction of that cost, at great benefit to both child and adoptive parents.

Emma is one preschooler who's definitely benefiting from the love and guidance of adoptive parents. ... She was born drug positive and suffered neglect as an infant. "She couldn't hold herself up. She couldn't hold anything in her hand. She had no cognitive skills ... just kind of laid there in her own little world," [Emma's adoptive mother] explained.

Emma's adoptive parents, Liz and Mike, learned how to draw her out so that she would engage with them and others. She's now an active toddler whose abilities surpass her age, they said.

Source: CBS Channel 4 (Denver, Colorado)

Labels: parenting, benefits, inspiration, influences

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Pat Locke and Ian Miller have been married for about ten years. During that time, their decisions have largely revolved around themselves. But now, on the eve of their adoption of two girls from Kyrgyzstan, they realize the focus of their decisions will have to change.

"In the new year, the couple, who live in Hudson [Massachusetts], must decide whether to relocate, where to send their new daughters to school, and how to juggle work and child care, to name just a few items on their to-decide list."

Though the decisions will be difficult, Locke and Miller are eager to start this new chapter of their lives. Miller has admitted that he's also eager to get past the first few months, which he knows will be the hardest for the girls.

Deciding to send your child to a boarding school is also a difficult decision. Learn how to choose a boarding school and then deal with feelings of guilt at BoardingSchoolsInfo.com.

Labels: families, parenting, relationships

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Cross-cultural and international adoptions have increased dramatically over the last several years. An estimated 20,000 children are adopted each year from places like China, Russia, and Guatemala. Once the adoption process is complete, the next challenge for these families is learning how to integrate different cultures into the familial DNA.

"'They need to understand that race and ethnicity still matter,' [Judy] Stigger says. 'Love is not going to be enough. Where your child came from is part of them, whether that's a neighborhood in Chicago or an orphanage in China.'"

Stigger has experienced this first-hand as she's raised her adopted daughter Kathy, an African-American. Having friends with similar ethnic backgrounds, celebrating ethnic or culture-specific holidays, and learning some of the language if the adopted child is from a foreign country are all ways to help the child understand and appreciate where shes from and help the family become truly multiracial. Read more at SunTimes.com.

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Labels: international, parenting, cultures

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Some adoption stories included a statement from one of the adoptive parents, stating that he or she bonded with their adopted child immediately. While that's true in some cases, for others it takes time to feel truly connected with their child. Laura Christianson discusses some of the other adoption myths that are addressed in the book 'The Post Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption'.

"Myth #2: 'I will like this child.' Of course we all plan to like our children. We are determined to like them. But many parents admit, 'I love my child but I don't like her.' The reluctance to like one's child can occur when parent and child have different temperaments, personalities and life experiences (particularly in the case of an institutionalized child.)"

The book's author suggests seeking help if weeks or months have passed and a parent is still not feeling connected to his or her child. She also suggests that parents go easy on themselves and realize that adopting a child creates a whole new dynamic. An adjustment period is natural and to be expected. Read more at AdoptionBlogs.Typepad.com.

Teen drug abuse can be a scary thing for a family to face. Learn more about how to help your teenager at Adolescent-Substance-Abuse.com.

Labels: parenting, myths, bonding

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One thing that many couples don't think about with a trans-racial adoption is hair care. A Caucasian couple that's adopting an African-American child is going to have a steep learning curve when figuring out to care for their child's hair.

"Taking care of your child's hair will take some extra work and effort, but it is important that you do so. Doing so will not only show respect to your child's culture, but will also help your child build a healthy self esteem."

One adoptive parent recommends the Jamaican Mango and Lime line of products for African-American children. She has used them for her children and has been very pleased with the results. Read more at Transracial.Adoptionblogs.com.

Parents of adopted teens can face even more troubles than biological parents. Find articles, tips, advice, and help for parents of troubled teens at ByParents-ForParents.com.

Labels: support, trans-racial, parenting

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At the start of the adoption process, adoptive families have lots of questions to ask; "Do we want an older child or an infant?" "Domestic or international adoption?" "Does the child's race matter?" After you've asked yourself those questions, other people will be asking you many more.

"You'll find that once you start telling people about your plans to adopt, that you are going to get a lot of questions. Family, friends, neighbors and nosy strangers will all 'want to know'."

Keep in mind that your adoption is personal and that you don't have to answer someone's question if it makes you uncomfortable. Be prepared, too, to answer questions from the social worker who conducts your home study. Your adoption agency can help you prepare for that.

Read more at AdoptionBlogs.com.

Parents of teens have all sorts of questions about how to raise their kids. ByParents-forParents.com is a website that offers help for parents of teens with articles on troubled teens and parenting resources. Their Parenting Blog lists News, advice, and tips for parenting teenagers.

Labels: support, parenting, privacy

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The Times West Virginian newspaper had a Mother's Day contest in which it asked people to submit letters about their mothers. One of the entries came from Melanie Carpenter, who wrote about her mother Rosemary.

"My mother is a very special lady. She has been a mentor and inspiration and a blessing to me for the past 50 years. Although she is up in years, she is the one I can still go to for guidance, comfort and love. Let me explain why she is so special, see I was chosen by her. I am an adopted child."

Rosemary is also mother to two other adopted children, and has housed more than 20 foster children. Melanie recalls all the times her mother has been there, and is still there for her and her children, guiding them on the "right road through life." Read more at TimesWV.com.

Labels: foster_care, parenting, mothers

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Seth, an incarcerated New Mexico youth, recently wrote a letter of apology to his father. He’s trying to take responsibility for robbing his father’s house on Christmas Eve. Filmmaker Justin Hunt, however, wonders who’s taking responsibility for Seth. Hunt addresses the topic in his new film “Absent.”

“While Hunt acknowledges there are absent mothers also in the world, he said the subject of absent fathers particularly interested him because of the magnitude of the issue worldwide. Undoubtedly, he said, fathers tend to leave families more often. Farmington [New Mexico] Juvenile Detention Center Director Traci Neff sees the results every day. More than 90 percent of juveniles incarcerated at the center did not have fathers in their lives, Neff said.” [Source: Farmington (MN) Daily-Times]

Many of the young men Hunt interviewed for his film admitted they would have made different decisions if they’d had a father figure in their lives. “Absent” premiered Saturday, August 28th in Albuquerque.

 

Labels: medical_records, parenting, fathers, loss

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