In a commentary that appeared in several U.S. newspapers in October, Michael Reagan -- the adopted son of former U.S. President Ronald Reagan and his wife, Nancy -- issued a call for widespread improvements to the nation's adoption processes:

In this country, there are 129,000 children waiting to be adopted. Most of those are already legally severed from their birth parents and could therefore be adopted into new families with no delays. But last year alone, over 28,000 children were left without families.

This does not need to be the case. Improvements to the adoption system in our country have made the process smoother, faster, and less expensive than it once was. Children in foster homes can be adopted without legal complications. Those who choose to adopt an infant can be paired with their child from before birth and even build a relationship with the birth mother.

Children left in foster care not only struggle with being bounced from place to place in shifting relationships, but also face a terrible struggle when they leave the system and are left with no family support, no adequate resources, and a lack of practical preparation.

Conversely, children who are adopted -- either as infants or later in life -- have proven that strong, successful families do not require ties of blood, and children can rebound from early trauma and experience deep healing and love.

Labels: adopted children

For many birth mothers, the decision to place a child for adoption is based upon the belief that this will give the child the best possible chance at a happy and successful life.

In a Sept. 18 commentary in the Buffalo News, adoptee and current adoption intake worker Zachary Fried addressed this topic in a personal manner, highlighting the many ways in which he benefited from his birth mother's decision:

I’m an adult adoptee: my birth mom was 16 years old when I was born. I honor her and thank her for making that difficult and mature decision. In many ways, she saved both our lives, and she helped my family achieve an important dream. ...

My birth mom's selfless act gave me the opportunity to have a life that has always been special. I was the first-born child in my adoptive family's home. Adoptive and biological children followed -- and we became a nine-kid family. My siblings are diverse, funny, frustrating (whose aren't?), lovable and very much loved by our parents.

We don’t all look the same, but we're blind to the differences as much as we are meshed in our similarities. We are a family regardless of how we came together. Adoption helped build my family.

Labels: adopted children, birth-mothers

Most family reunions look and sound very similar – relatives who haven't seen each other in a year exchange hugs and marvel at how big the kids have gotten. But Camp Abrazo is a different kind of reunion that includes children, adoptive and biological parents.

This year’s reunion is taking place at the Mayan Dude Ranch in Bandera [TX], and participants are coming from all over Texas as well as New Jersey, Tennessee, Georgia, Illinois, Virginia, Minnesota, Arkansas, Indiana and Mississippi. (Source: PR Inside)

Many families make the reunion an annual event, because it helps their children feel secure in the love felt by both the birth and adoptive parents.

Labels: adopted children, adoptive parents, birth_parents, texas

Marshall and Cheryl Goff's first son was born when they were both still in high school. He was adopted by a family in Indiana and they haven't seen him in 32 years -- but according to an Aug. 5 article in the Charleston (W.Va.) Daily Mail,that's about to change.

The Goffs have two more children, Nathen Clarence and Kristen Rae. But they never forgot about their first child or the desire they had to see him again. ...

The Goffs searched the Internet and found forms that could be completed and sent to the courthouse in Indiana. They also completed a waiver form for the adoption agency in case their son ever looked for them. ...

They will make the nearly 400-mile trip to Indianapolis, Ind., on Aug. 7 to see the son they had to give up for adoption at birth. Jon Christopher Hutsell, 31, is now married with three children of his own, with the newest addition, Bryson, arriving July 9.

Adoption laws in the 1970s required that all adoptions be closed. But recent changes to those laws made it possible for Marshall and Cheryl to at least begin the process of searching for their son. Now that they’ve found each other, the families have made plans to spend several days together in Indianapolis.

Labels: adopted children, reunions

In the past five years, the number of children in the United Kingdom who have been returned to foster homes after being adopted has doubled. The increase comes in spite of an overall decrease in the number of adoptions:

Going back into care after living with an adoptive family is a traumatic experience for children, and for the adoptive parents. It is also a huge cost to an already over-stretched system with the children likely to need expensive specialist care. (Source: The Times)

The high number of children returning to foster care also reflects dramatic changes in adoption. Before the 1970s, most people adopted babies, but today the majority of children are placed for adopted after being removed from their homes due to neglect.

Charity organization Adoption UK is pushing for systemic changes that would focus less on the arduous adoption process and more on teaching parents how to deal with difficult children.

Labels: adopted children, failures

Jeffrey Dennings and his wife, Natalie, didn't become parents until 2006, when Jeffrey was 42 years old. In 2006, they adopted two boys, one of whom they met at the Kinship Adoption Festival in Southfield, Michigan.

"The event is sponsored by the Michigan Adoption Research Exchange and the Dave Thomas Foundation," the Flint Journal reported. "At the time [the Dennings] wanted a toddler. When they arrived, they learned that the older children in tie-dye shirts also were available. That’s where they met Ken, who was 8 at the time."

The Dennings family is now in the process of adopting two more boys, bothers who are 10 and 13. Jeffrey knows that some people call him crazy, but what others call "crazy" he calls "family."

Labels: adopted children, fathers, older_children

Adoption disclosure legislation that went into effect June 1 in Ontario, Canada, give thousands of adoptees the chance to learn about their biological family history. Under the new law, adoptees can apply for copies of adoption orders and birth registrations.

According to the Ministry of Community and Social Services, the result is adoptees will be more easily able to find out what their original names were, as well as who their birth parents were. It could also help birth parents learn the name their child was given after he or she was adopted. (Source: CBC News)

The new law will also give adoptees access to medical information that had been previously out of reach. Both adoptees and birth parents have the option of filing a disclosure veto if they want their information to remain sealed.

Many adoption advocates believe that learning more about their personal history can help adopted children deal with many adoption-related stresses and developmental issues.

Labels: adopted children, adoption rights, birth_parents

In a May 24 post on examiner.com, adoptive parent and blogger Marcie Pickelsimer takes the creative forces behind the upcoming horror/slasher film "Orphan" to task for their negative portrayals of adopted children:

The trailer is so heartbreaking. Just the message in the trailer gives misinformation about adoption, reinforcing the very myth that adoptive communities try to hard to eradicate; that all older adoptees are troubled.

How many hundreds of thousands of adopted children will see this trailer on national television and hear an adoptee say "it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as you own"? How many attachment disordered children will be sent back to therapy because they get ideas from the young girl's actions? How many families could be sent into turmoil because of one movie?

According to the horror film websiteBloody Disgusting, "Orphan" tells the story of a couple who decide to adopt a child from an orphanage following "the tragic loss of their unborn child." The adopted child, Esther, is not the angelic child she appears to be, resulting in a series of horrific events.

"This feeds the notion that older adoptees are very troubled and you should beware. That’s not an image any of us want the general public to have of our kids," Pickelsimer wrote. "It plays into people’s deepest fears."

Labels: adopted children, media

As have many other children who were involved in international adoptions, two adopted children in Montrose, Colo., have established new lives in a new family far from the poverty-stricken village where they were born. But thanks to the efforts of their adoptive parents and many other community members, the children (now ages 8 and three) retain a connection with the nation in which they were born.

A May 17 article on The Denver Channel website described the efforts that Michael and Kimberly McGehee have made to ensure that their adopted children remain connected with the culture into which they were born:

Though their biological parents died from AIDS, the two children tested negative for the virus. Jenna and Stephen have adjusted well to life in Colorado, but Michael and Kimberley were determined to ensure the kids didn't forget their roots.

"We've always wanted to keep the kids connected to their culture, so we knew we had to do something," Michael said. The village in Uganda, where Jenna and Stephen were raised, is in the heart of a ghetto, covered in trash. Much of the population has been stricken by the AIDS virus and can hardly afford to eat meals regularly or clothe themselves. Despite the cost, the McGehees decided to raise money to help their children's homeland and make the trip to Uganda as a family.

When the family traveled to Uganda in January, the money that was contributed during a number of community- and school-based fundraisers paid for a feast for the villagers, 500 pairs of shoes, and the construction of a new playground.

Even families whose adoption stories are less dramatic than that of the McGehees are likely to experience issues related to their circumstances through which their adopted children joined the family. For teens who are continuing to struggle with these types of issues, Mount Bachelor Academy (a private boarding school in Prineville, Oregon) provides an innovative and effective therapeutic program for adopted students.

Labels: adopted children, international

For women whose children have been adopted by others, Mother's Day can be a particularly poignant experience. But since 1993, the birth mothers of adopted children have had the opportunity to address their feelings and be honored for their sacrifices during an event known as "Birthmother's Day."

A May 10 article by Cleveland Plain Dealer writer Laura Johnston described the motivations behind these celebrations:

About 125,000 children are adopted each year in the United States, about 40 percent through public-welfare agencies, research shows. In the vast majority of adoptions today, the birth mother has some contact with the adoptive parents. For most of the 20th century, though, adoptions were anonymous. ...

"They brought a child into this world who they're not parenting," said Betsie Norris, executive director of Adoption Network Cleveland. "It's not something they've forgotten about. But that type of motherhood isn't acknowledged on Mother's Day. For birth mothers, it's very bittersweet."

"Although the rest of the world doesn't know, you know what the anniversary means to you and how important it is," one mother, a 31-year-old graduating from medical school, told the Plain Dealer. "To have everybody there to respect you as a mother, whether or not you're raising a child, it's incredibly powerful."

As is the case with many birth mothers, many adopted teens are also struggling with unresolved conflicts related to separation. Some therapists specialize in helping adopted teens with separation-related conflicts, as does Mount Bachelor Academy, a private therapeutic boarding school in central Oregon.

Labels: adopted children, adoptive parents, birth-mothers, separation