[A man Vink once dated] told me about a coworker of his who had adopted internationally and was now pregnant. Knowing his tendency to say the wrong things, I casually mentioned that I hoped nobody would say things like, "You must be excited to have a baby of your own." ... After all, adopted children are our own, too. ...
Mr. Foot-in-Mouth assured me that nobody he worked with would say anything like that. However, he said that they were all concerned for their pregnant coworker -- concerned because families usually like their natural children more than their adopted children.
Even now, weeks after I first heard it, that sentence still gives me a little bit of a gag reflex. ...
When I was in the process of adopting, my adoption agency talked to me about the offensive things people were likely to say after I adopted. They were right: I've heard it all, from "How much did your son cost?" to "Is it hard to love a child that isn't yours?" I've tried to respond to every one of those verbal land mines with education, not anger. But education isn't foolproof.
Labels: communication
Posted By: Aspen/CRC
