Adoption Issues: September 2006

Friday, September 29, 2006

Joining Worlds

It's been almost a year and a half since the Heirs family began their adoption process. They started in one country but ended up in another, and they say they wouldn't have it any other way. Their story can encourage people who are also in the process of adopting, and are feeling anxious or frustrated.

"With all the paperwork done and preparation completed, the Hiers family can now only wait... As soon as [the invitation to travel] is received, the family will be flying to China to pick up Gao Li..."

Read more from the La Junta Tribune-Democrat.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Questions Your Child May Have But Be Afraid To Ask

The web site adoptionclubhouse.org is designed especially for adopted children. It's a practical and fun web site that can help you talk to your child (children) about what it means to be adopted. One page in particular, called "Afraid to Ask", discusses some of the questions all adopted kids have but may be afraid to ask or talk about.

Questions include "Who do I look like?" and "Why did my birth parents give me away?" This section can be a great conversation starter, and can help your adopted child know that it's ok to ask questions.

If you have a teenager who was adopted and is experiencing emotional or behavioral problems, a specialty boarding school for adopted teens may help. Visit Mount Bachelor Academy to learn more about their Adoption Curriculum.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Helping Your Adopted Child Adjust

An adopted child over the age of two is considered an "older" child. The adjustment period for older children can be longer and more difficult because they're more aware of what's going on. Adopting.org has complied a short list of things you can do (and not do) to help your older child adjust.

"REDUCE SENSORY OVERLOAD. Just being in your home is sensory overload for your child... Keep their lives boring for the first few weeks, if not months."

Nine other suggestions follow, each of which will help both you and your child adjust to your new life together.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Opening a Closed Adoption

Many adoptions are closed, meaning the birth parents aren't revealed to the adopted child, and consequently the child has no interaction with his or her birth parents. There are many reasons why an adoption may be closed. More frequently, however, both adopted parents and adopted children are seeking to open closed adoptions.

"By whatever manner families arrived at closed adoptions, many are showing an interest in changing that, and establishing contact among all three parties - birth parent(s), adoptee, and adoptive parent(s)..."

Adopting.org has posted a chat discussion between a birth and adoptive parent who decided to open their adoption. It gives great insight into the reasons behind, and process of, opening a previously closed adoption.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Finding the Right Agency

If you've made the decision to adopt a child, the next step is finding an adoption agency. Because there are so many agencies out there, and some are less that reputable, The Adoption Guide has put together a guide to help you find the right agency. It includes helpful hints and even a list of suggested questions to ask each agency as you’re looking for the right one.

"You need to exercise your research and networking skills to ensure that the agency you choose will respond to your needs as you embark on the adoption process."

It's important that you gather as much information as possible before choosing a adoption agency. You want to be sure you choose one that's ethical, and that will make the process as easy for you as possible.

Friday, September 15, 2006

What to Expect at Different Ages

Adopting.org has posted an excellent article on how adoption will affect your child at different developmental stages. Though every child moves through the developmental stages at a different pace, having a general understanding of what to expect will help you recognize where your child is at and how best to respond.

"Whether children are adopted as infants or when they are older, whether they are healthy or have physical or psychological problems, their adoption is bound to influence their development. You need to understand how and why."

The article is a bit long, as it goes into detail about each of the many developmental stages, but the information is solid and important.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A Pediatrician's Advice on Adoption

Pediatrician Michel Cohen, M.D. offers some practical medical advice for adoptive parents in this online article. The article is especially helpful for parents adopting children from other countries, but the advice is applicable for any adoptive parents.

"In terms of medication or nutrition, there's not much you should bring with you to the happy occasion of meeting your child. No matter where in the world the adoption process takes you, while you're there, you should feed her the same formula that she's used to. If she's older, join her in eating the local food she knows until you come home...”

The article goes on to give advice regarding when to schedule the first medical check-up, how best to continue with immunization shots and more.

As adopted children grow up, they may experience feelings of grief and loss. Special programs have been developed to help teenagers deal with their emotions in positive ways. Learn more about schools with curriculums that focus on Adoption Issues here >>

Monday, September 11, 2006

Young Woman Learns Her Father was a Hero

On the five year anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center in New York, Mariah Mills finds herself unexpectedly connected to all those who lost loved ones that day. Two years ago, Mariah, who was adopted as a baby, embarked on a journey to find her biological parents. She wasn't quite prepared for what she found.

"Mills' biological father... was Tom Burnett, a leader of a group that fought back on United Flight 93 before it crashed in Pennsylvania on September 11, 2001."

As you can imagine, the news came as a shock. Mills has been able to build relationships with Burnett's widow and her children, allowing her to learn more about the man who was a father to her and a hero to a nation.

Read the full story online.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Heritage Camps Help Adopted Children Stay Connected

For decades, parents who adopted children from foreign countries were advised to raise their children as though they were "any other American kid." Subsequent research has shown that foreign children loose a sense of who they are when they aren't taught about their international heritage. One of the responses to this is Heritage Camps, which teach adopted children about their foreign roots.

"I think most of the benefit of being there is simply being in a place where the majority of people you interact with are of your own race. [The children] see teen and adult Asians being themselves..."

A husband and wife who adopted a girl from China took her to a Chinese Heritage Camp where she learned some simple things like singing Happy Birthday in Chinese, and the story behind the Moon Festival. Older children participate in more complex activities. The activities and lessons are great ways to help an international adoptee understand who they are. Read more online.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Adopting and Parenting a Child with HIV

AdoptionBlogs.com posted some advice and some reassuring words for parents who have adopted or are considering adopting a child with HIV. The blog's author spoke with several parents, doctors, and specialists, most of whom seem to agree that the life of a child with HIV isn't much different than the lives of other children.

"Parents could not stress enough that HIV did not define who their kids were or what their lives were about, and their day to day life did not center around HIV."

The biggest difference for kids with HIV is the medication and the doctor's visits. For those parents who worry about the spread of HIV among family members, there are only two documented cases of that happening. Medications are often so effective in children that HIV is virtually undetectable.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Companies Beginning to Offer Paid Leave for Adoptive Parents

Over 100,000 Americans adopt every year. With this figure in mind, more and more companies are beginning to offer paid Family Leave for parents who have just adopted a child. That time off is important, as it allows the parents and child to bond. In fact, Kentucky Adoption Services, Inc. requires that at least one parent stay home for no less than six weeks after the adoption and actually recommends eight weeks or more.

"'You can't get that time with your baby back,' says Keli Tuschman. 'Some other company might offer to pay me a little more, but this (paid maternity leave) buys my loyalty.'"

Ms. Tuschman is not alone in her sentiment. Some companies, like Bank Rhode Island, add adoption benefits after being approached by employees who provide evidence that paid time-of is available elsewhere. Read more online.

Mount Bachelor Academy is the only specialty boarding school to offer a premiere curriculum and residential support for adolescents coming to terms with adoption and loss. Mount Bachelor has adoption focused group therapy, thematic workshops for processing stages of grief, and access to a nationwide network of adoption support. Learn more about Mount Bachelor Academy today >>

Adoption & the Family
Family dynamics such as relationships with parents and siblings and separation anxiety >>

Adoption & the Community
The classroom and relationships with peers and role models>>

The Adoption Circle
Identity, Heritage and Belonging>>

Special Kinds of Adoption
International adoption and siblings with different adoptive backgrounds>>

Therapeutic boarding schools help adopted teens with identity and self-esteem issues. Call (866) 561-7327 to find one now.