For some parents considering adoption, a major question is whether to adopt domestically or internationally. Parents will hear multiple views for both choices. "Why adopt internationally when there are so many kids in our country that need families?" "All those kids from Russia (China, Guatemala, India . . .) have major problems." "At least in an international adoption the parents can’t change their mind." "The kids available domestically don't have RAD (reactive attachment disorder) whereas all those international kids do." The problem with those statements is that they're all partly true and they’re all partly false.

Like most things in life, adoption has its pros and cons, and how we interpret those topics depends on our personalities, life styles, interests, likes, upbringing, and lots more.

The one thing that is often true is the cost difference. Domestic adoptions can be at no cost (although adopting a newborn can run into the thousands), and international adoptions can be up to $40,000. Often, however, it's not the big issues, i.e., domestic or international, boy or girl, age eight or age 12, Russia or China, that determine the right fit between parents and child. It's the smaller issues, the more detailed questions, i.e., what level of trauma did the child go through in the early years, how many placements has the child had, how physically healthy is the child, how strong are the connections and attachments that the child has made, and the child's general personality. These questions are applicable to both domestically and internationally adopted children.

Decide what's best for you and your family. Look at the big questions and the smaller questions. And remember that domestic adoption or international adoption is only one of many questions to be decided.