Resources for Families with Adopted Children
For Boarding Schools Specializing in Adoption Issues, Call 866.561.7327
Adoption Groups Provide Needed Support to Troubled Teens

By Leslie Davis

Support groups made up of peers are helpful to any teen who is working through issues of substance abuse, depression, anger or attachment. And for adopted teens, who are at higher risk for all of those behaviors, getting support from others with similar experiences may be just what they need to get their lives back on track.

"Sometimes the very key to straightening out a young person is an understanding of how they started out and fit into the world," said Jeffrey A. Lavallee, LMFT, a senior clinician at Island View residential treatment center for adolescents in Utah, which offers a support group for adopted children. "It can be very grounding."

Benefits of Adoption Support Groups

Support groups specifically for adopted children are beneficial to teens whose issues directly relate to being adopted. For example, an adopted teen who has a drug or alcohol addiction that is due to peer pressure may not benefit from an adoption support group. But if the substance abuse problem is a way to self-medicate feelings of emptiness or abandonment related to their adoption, then having the support of other adopted teens can be eye opening and vital to a successful recovery.

"An adoption support group allows kids to identify with other people who have a similar story and issues," said Lavallee, who also supervises the adoption support group at Island View. "Their life starts to make more sense, and they make a connection between their adoption and why they act the way they do."

In an adoption support group, teens can examine their behavioral problems, life philosophy and issues from the perspective of being adopted. In any other type of support group, their behaviors may not be examined in the context of adoption, which could omit an important component needed for a full recovery.

Adoption support groups are most effective if teens have already worked through some of their behavioral issues. For teens who are also dealing with issues of anger, it may be more productive for them to first go through anger management so they will be calmer and better able to focus on addressing issues specific to their adoption.

Island View's Adoption Support Group

In Island View's adoption support group, participants complete assignments that allow them to process issues surrounding their adoption and tackle them directly. Assignments include examining the fantasies and fears they have about their biological parents, and determining if they are ready to search for their biological parents and what they think they may discover.

Once teens are ready, they can write a letter to their biological parents to let them know everything they've been thinking or feeling. Not all teens will actually send this letter, and they may write another version that is not quite as emotional, Lavallee said.

"The initial letter gets their emotions out and gives them an increased sense of peace," Lavallee said. "If the kids do want to contact their biological parents, they can write a calmer letter that will be received by the biological parents. Then they can really reach out them and get some answers."

Residential treatment centers such as Island View may also offer more intensive therapies for adopted teens. Island View holds two-day intensive seminars twice a year that are for adopted teens who attend the school and their families. During the seminars, adopted kids and their parents discuss adoption, behavioral issues and their philosophies about adoption. Multi-family therapy groups are also held so that parents and teens can get feedback, support and tips from other families in a similar position as them.

For adopted teens, their biological family is often a mystery, leaving them feeling a little less than whole and, sometimes, unloved. For teens who don't find out they are adopted until they are much older, it can be a shocking revelation and one that causes them to act out.

"It pulls the foundation out from under a person," Lavallee said.

Adopted teens who are struggling with behavioral issues or substance abuse may need more than just individual counseling. The best place for them may be at a residential treatment center such as Island View that allows them to address their issues while getting help from peers through a support group specifically for adopted teens.


 

Share |