What kinds of academic and educational issues will my adopted teen face?

On top of typical teenage struggles, adopted children are faced with their very own set of concerns when they hit adolescence, and while you're likely to experience many of these struggles right alongside your child, you'll also find that many of them will play out in the classroom. In addition to understanding the particular emotional issues your adopted teen may face as he/she enters adolescence, it's also important to recognize how these questions and issues may play out in an educational environment. And it's also important to understand the types of support available to both you and your adopted teen.

Children adopted as infants usually begin to fully understand what it means to be adopted as they enter and move through grade school. Developmentally, this is the stage at which they begin to understand the concept of "family" within a broader social context – at school they may be asked to draw family trees and to explore their heritage, while their friends may begin to ask your child questions about why he/she is adopted. This is also the time that your adopted child may begin to experience some sense of grief or loss at not being with his/her natural birth family, no matter how much gratitude, happiness and contentment he/she feels within his/her adoptive family.

As your adopted child enters adolescence, these feelings of grief and loss may transform into questions of belonging and personal identity. As a result, your adopted teen's behavior at school may also change. He/she may start to seem less concerned or attentive to school work or may loss confidence or self-esteem if he/she feels that one or both birth parents "rejected" or "abandoned" him/her. These types of feelings very often translate into a "don't care" attitude at school, and previously responsible or conscientious students may seem to lose focus or have difficulty upholding their usual academic standards.

On top of all this, statistics also suggest that adopted children are likely to experience some kind of learning or behavioral problem that may also influence their academic performance. Many adopted children are likely to suffer from ADD, ADHD or any number of learning difficulties that may only serve to compound their frustration and anxiety during adolescence -- especially when combined with questions of roots and identity.

So how do you help your adopted child negotiate so many emotional, psychological and educational pitfalls successfully? First and foremost, be supportive and understanding, regardless of your own level of frustration. Your adopted teen needs to feel as safe and secure as possible within his/her adoptive family – and he/she also needs to know that he/she can question and discuss his/her adoption concerns without judgment.

Next, make sure you have the back-up resources you need to provide your adopted teen with positive, consistent support. Communicate closely with his/her teachers and school counselors and consider adoption support resources for both you and your teen, including family or individual therapy, summer programs and, if you and your teen's teachers and counselors think it's beneficial, a school specifically equipped to support adopted teens and teens experiencing behavioral, emotional or academic challenges.

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